FALLACIES AND MISCONCEPTIONS About The Messenger’s Marriages (peace be upon him)
By Sheikh Muhammad Ali Al-Saboony Translated by Dr. Ahmad El Sayyad Abu Zeid
In The Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
The enemies of Islam have always been casting doubts on the prophet of Islam (peace be upon him), attacking his message and detracting from his greatness. They fabricate lies and fallacies to make the believers doubt their religion and to keep people away from believing in the message of the prophet (peace be upon him). One of the claim that those enemies have is that Muhammad was a lustful man pursuing his lusts and sensuous pleasures, that he (peace be upon him) was not satisfied with one wife, or even four, as he (peace be upon him) taught his followers, but he (peace be upon him) multiplied his wives and married ten or more driven by his desires and whims.
There are two essential points that rebut all these allegations about the holy prophet (peace be upon him). First: The holy prophet (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) did not diversify his wives (peace be upon him) until he was very old, over fifty years of age. Second: All the chaste and virtuous wives of the holy messenger (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) were widows except Aishah (may Allah be satisfied with her) whom the prophet married when she was still a young maiden.
From these two points we simply realize the falsity of these fallacious allegations claimed by the malicious orientalists. If the aim of marriage had been seeking bodily desires or sexual pleasures, he would have married when he was a young man full of youthful vivacity, and not when he was an old man . He would have married young maidens, not aged widows.
Dear Brothers and Sisters, The reasons behind the multiplicity of the wives of the messenger (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) are many and can be summed as follows: 1. Educational and didactic reasons. 2. Legislative reasons. 3. Social reasons. 4. Political reasons.
Educational & Didactic Reasons: The first principal aim at the diversity of the wives of the messenger (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was producing some women-tutors to teach the Muslim women the legal judgements and rules. The women constitute half the society and they, as well as men, are enjoined to perform the religious duties. A lot of women felt shy to ask the holy prophet (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) about legal matters, especially those related to them, such as the rules of menstruation, childbirth, state of major impurity and other matrimonial matters. The woman almost overcome by shyness, felt embarrassed when she wanted to ask about these matters.
One characteristic of the messenger (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was complete modesty. He was, as the books of Hadith mention, "more bashful than a virgin in her boudoir." He could not answer frankly all questions put forward by the women. Sometimes he used metonymy, and the women might not have understood what was meant.
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) relates that a woman from Al Ansaar asked the prophet (peace be upon him) about her ghusl (cleansing) after menstruation. He (peace be upon him taught her how to cleanse herself (take bath), and then told her to take a piece of cloth with musk and purify herself with it. She said: "How should I purify myself with that?" The prophet (peace be upon him) said: "make yourself pure with it." She repeated: "How can I make myself pure with it O Messenger of Allah?" The prophet (may the blessings and peace be upon him said: "Allah be praised!! Make yourself pure with it!!" Aishah said: I dragged her to my side for I understood what the Messenger of Allah meant and, therefore, said: Apply this piece of cotton with musk to check any mark of blood, and I told her frankly the place where to put it."
The holy prophet (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) felt too shy to answer frankly and explicitly such a question, and very few women could overcome their shyness and ask publicly about such embarrassing womanly matters. Such embarrassing questions were answered by his virtuous wives (may Allah be pleased with them all).
The women used to go to the wives of the prophet, "The Mothers of the Faithful" (may Allah be pleased with them), to ask them about matters of religion, the rules of menstruation, childbirth, cleanliness, ... etc. They were the best teachers and guides through whom the women learned their religion.
Legislative Reasons: The legislative reasons behind the prophet’s marriages can be easily discerned in invalidating some abominable practices that prevailed in pre-Islamic Arab society, such as the prevalent custom of "adoption" which was an inherited custom to the Arabs before Islam. One could adopt another’s son, make him as one own real son and say to him "You are my son. I inherit you and you inherit me". Rules of inheritance, divorce, marriage and the prohibited degrees of marriage ... etc. were applied to the adopted sons.
Islam would not approve of wrong or leave people in ignorance. In order to put an end to this wrong custom of adoption, it was inspired to the messenger, before his mission to become a prophet was announced, to adopt Zaid Ibn Haritha following the prevalent custom of the Arabs before Islam. Zaid was, from then on, called Zaid Ibn Muhammad. Al Bukhari and Muslim mention that Abdullah Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) said: "We used to call Zaid Ibn Haritha, Zaid Ibn Muhammad until the verse from the Holy Qur’an was sent down saying: "Call them by after their fathers: that is more just in the sight of Allah ...." (33: 5) Then the prophet (peace be upon him) said: You are Zaid Ibn Haritha ibn Sharaheel."
Then the holy prophet (may the blessing of Allah be upon him) married him to his cousin Zainab Bint Jahsh; but their marriage did not last long. She ill-treated him as she felt socially superior to him as he had been just a slave before the prophet (peace be upon him) adopted him and she was of a great ancestral line. Zaid divorced her and Allah the Almighty commanded His Messenger (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to marry her to annul the custom of adoption, to set up the principles of Islam and to destroy the pre-Islamic practices completely. In this way, the pre-Islamic custom of adoption came to an end and the Holy Qur’an supported this new divine legislation saying: "Muhammad is not the father of any of your men, but (he is) the Messenger of Allah, and the seal of the prophets: And Allah has full knowledge of all things." (33: 40)
Social Reasons: The social reasons behind the prophet’s marriages appear clearly in his marriage to the daughter of Abu Bakr (may Allah be satisfied with him) and to the daughter of Omar (may Allah be pleased with him). These reasons can also be evidently noticed in his marriage relations with Quraish; this made the different clans and tribes strongly support him and his new religion.
The Prophet (may the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married Aishah, the daughter of his most beloved, most esteemed friend and companion Abu Bakr who was among the first people to embrace Islam and who offered himself and his wealth for the victory of Islam and for the protection of his Messenger (may the blessing and Peace of Allah be upon him), for bearing all sorts of suffering for the sake of Islam. The Messenger (may the blessing and peace of Allah be upon him) could not find a better reward for Abu Bakr in this world than to marry his daughter; thus their friendship was strengthened and their relationship deepened.
The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) also married Hafsa, daughter of Omar, the great hero of Islam. Likewise, the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) greatly honoured Othman and Ali (may Allah be pleased with them all) by marrying them two of his daughters. These four - Abu Bakr, Omar, Othman and Ali (may Allah be satisfied with them all) are his greatest companions and successors in spreading Islam.
Political Reasons: A major reason for the Messenger’s marriages was to form strong relationships with the people around him. It is known that when one marries from a family or a clan, one form new relationships and one’s in-laws come to help if need arises. Here are some examples, which show the political reasons behind the Messenger’s marriages.
First, the Prophet (peace be upon him) married Al Sayedah Juwayriah, the daughter of Al Harith who was the leader of the tribe of Bani Al Mustalaq. She together with the whole tribe had been taken war prisoners by the Muslims in one of the battles. She, as the daughter of the tribe’s leader came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to ask for money to pay as a ransom to be set free. The Prophet (peace be upon him) offered to pay the ransom for her and marry her. The Muslims thought it was not befitting to keep the Prophet’s in-laws as prisoners of war so they set them all free. Seeing the Muslim’s noble -mindedness, the whole tribe of Bani Al Mustalaq embraced Islam.
Second, in the military Battle of Khybar, Al Sayedah Saffiah, the Muslims captivated the daughter of Huyay ibn Akhtab after her husband had been killed. The Holy Prophet (peace be upon him) gave her the choice, either (a) to set her free and he would marry her or (b) to set her free and she would return to her Jewish family. Seeing the Prophet’s nobleness of character, decency and gentlemanliness, she chose to be set free and be his wife. Moreover, she, as well as many people with her, embraced Islam.
Third, the prophet (peace be upon him) also married Al Sayedah umm Habibah (Ramlah) whose father Abu Sufian was at that time the leader of the disbelievers and a strong enemy of the Prophet (peace be upon him). She embraced Islam at Makkah and migrated to Ethiopia with her husband. When the Prophet (peace be upon him) knew of her husband’s death in Ethiopia, he sent to the King of Ethiopia, Al Najashi, to marry him Umm Habibah. She was extremely pleased because if she had returned to her father in Makkah he would have forced her to forsake Islam or torture her. She received a dowry of 400 dinars, and when she returned to Al Madinah Al Munawarah, the Prophet (peace be upon him) married her.
Later, her father, Abu Suffian, embraced Islam and knew of her marriage to the Prophet (peace be upon him), consented to it and boasted of the Prophet (peace be upon him) being a good match to his daughter.